oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
