I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
