i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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