come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
