she was so not down for the gang bang
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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