why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
