you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
