i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
