She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
how does that bad decision feel?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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