Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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