it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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