I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
