i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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