She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
two words: eviction party
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
