Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
