I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
