i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
