i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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