You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
