i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
