Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A+ Viking dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
