I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
