i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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