Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
