i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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