do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
