tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
