I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
