you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is my gift to your gina
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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