Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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