Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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