I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
