Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish I could teleport
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
