Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
