So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
