Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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