Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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