I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
