I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
