george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
