don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
