thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
