Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
