I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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