I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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