Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
