THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
