Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize