The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
