need another drink. this is the easiest way
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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